


if it's all right (then you're all wrong)

by TheoMiller



Category: Fantastic Four (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Detectives, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Psych Fusion, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-31
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-29 04:50:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5116229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheoMiller/pseuds/TheoMiller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reed and Ben are childhood friends who run a private detective agency, much to the annoyance of Victor, the city's youngest and grumpiest head detective. Sue is a prodigy junior detective and his partner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	if it's all right (then you're all wrong)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not going to write the entire case fic. Probably. Hopefully not.

"Hey, Victor, Sue."

Victor snarled at him to shut up. Reed was pretty sure that was just how Victor said hello, though, so he wasn't too perturbed.

"We got your coffee," Reed said, and set the appropriate cup on Victor's desk. "Three creams, four sugars, and there's a Boston creme donut in the box Ben has. Ben?" He turned, looking for his partner, only to find him not carrying a box. "Ben, where are the pastries?"

"In the car."

"In the--Ben, I asked you to bring them---"

"---you did not, you said ---"

"---I had the coffees, you were supposed to be getting them---"

"You didn't tell me any of that!"

"I can't do this with you right now."

"Because you know you didn't tell me to grab them, that's why."

"No, because---just go get them, please."

Ben sighed and headed back out to the parking lot.

Sue was bent over a case report, earbuds in. "We got your coffee," he said, setting it down. "It's, uh, black, two espresso shots, right?"

She glanced up and tugged an earbud out. "What?"

"Just. Just coffee. And, uh, Ben's coming back with a croissant."

"Oh," she said. "Well, there aren't any cases we need help with, so---"

"What about that one?" Reed said, frowning. He craned his neck to try and see what the file is on, and she immediately closed it.

"She said she doesn't want you here, Richards, now scram."

"That's not what I said," Sue said. She turned back to Reed. "That's not what I said," she repeated.

Reed frowned. "I know, I was here. Why can't I see what you're---"

"Richards, back off," said Victor.

"How about you back off, Doom?" Ben said.

Reed turned; Ben had the box of pastries tucked under his arm. "Here," said Reed, taking the box and pulling up the lid to carefully transfer the croissants to Sue's desk. "Two croissants, since they're kind of small."

Victor got up and approached, still scowling. "Bribing us with food isn't going to make us give you a case."

But he took the Boston creme.

"It's not a bribe," said Reed. "It's within normal social parameters. Friends bring friends gifts of food."

Victor huffed. "You're operating under a null hypothesis."

"I am not!"

"Are too."

"What hypothesis is null?"

"The premise that you and your sidekick are friends to either me or Sue."

"Of course we're friends. Ben, back me up here."

"I'm not friends with Victor."

"Okay, but - what are the base components of friendship? It's a peer-peer relationship, yes? And we're peers."

"Neither by age or intelligence level."

"By both age and intelligence level, we fall within the same generation, and I'm not significantly smarter than you, so---"

"Oh my god," said Ben.

"You're not smarter than me," Victor snarled.

Reed frowned. "Well, just empirically speaking, I'm---"

"Reed," Ben said. "Shut up."

Victor bit into his donut rather savagely.

Reed switched tracks. "All right, so, there's also knowledge of one another's idiosyncrasies and opinions. I know your coffee and donut preferences, for instance."

"I'll posit that I am aware of your many and various flaws," said Victor.

"Right, great," Reed said. "And there's also proximity and frequency thereof."

"Spending time together," Ben added.

"That's what I said."

"Well, I was clarifying. You should mention shared interests."

"Right, exactly, thank you Ben. Shared interests. Solving crime---"

"Science."

"Scientific inquiry, yes, thank you Ben."

"Then there's the whole thing with actually liking each other. Which is why I'm not Victor's friend."

"What? Victor likes you!"

"No I don't," says Victor.

Ben folded his arms. "Trust me, buddy. He hates my guts. It's mutual."

"Really?"

"Oh my god," said Victor. "How are you this dumb, Richards?"

Reed bristled. "It's not my fault, most homosocial male friendships are virtually indistinguishable from either mutual sexual and romantic desire or mutual hatred, occasionally with overlap."

"That's ridiculous," scoffed Victor.

Sue snorted quietly.

"You agree with him?"

"I agree entirely with him," said Sue. "Reed. Would you posit that, as friends, part of the social contract between two people includes doing favors for one another without any expectation of monetary reimbursement for one's assistance?"

Reed couldn't help but smile. "Of course. Do you need a favor, Sue?"

She held out the case file she'd been reading. "This isn't from our jurisdiction," she said.

"All right," said Reed. "And you want me to solve it anyways?"

"Sort of."

"I don't like the sound of that sort of," Ben muttered.

Reed waved him off. "What do you need, then?"

"I need you to prove that the suspect the police have didn't do it."

"I can do that," said Reed, "Well, provided the suspect is actually innocent. Uh. The suspect is innocent, right?"

Sue arched her eyebrows ever so slightly. "He's my brother," she said.

"Oh," Reed said.

"Don't say it," muttered Ben, which was an odd thing to say.

"You can't possibly know what I'm thinking of saying, Ben."

"I do, and I'm telling you, don't say it."

Reed shook his head and turned back to Sue. "How can you be certain he's innocent?"

"Oh my god," said Ben.

Sue's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"We're going," Ben said. "Reed. Reed, she has a GUN."

"Well, it's a valid question!"

"Yes," said Sue. "Reed. I'm positive he's innocent. Do you trust my judgement as a cop?"

Reed hesitated. Ben made a noise of anger and exasperation beside him.

"Yes," said Reed. "If you can swear to me that your judgement is not clouded by your emotions."

"I swear," Sue said, and she looked at Reed with something approaching an actual smile.

Ben took the opportunity to grab the case file and Reed's arm and dragged them out of the station.

"Your brother won't appreciate you getting involved in that case," said Victor.

"I'm not involved. Richards is."

"A loophole in the laws about jurisdiction," he said. "That's clever. But you're going to have to work twice as hard to convince Richards that you're not his friend, now. His antics will be unbearable."

Sue's small smile twitched into a grin, and she picked a delicate piece off a croissant and popped it in her mouth.

Victor stared. "You're not."

"You heard him, Victor. He and I know each other fairly well, we spend time together, we're peers, we get along, and now we exchange favours. That makes us friends."

"I can't believe you, of all people, are putting up with this nonsense."

"Unlike you, I'm not ashamed to admit that I find Reed's company enjoyable. He's sweet."

"He's a blithering idiot."

"His solve rate is impressive."

"Luck."

"Victor," said Sue, looking at him.

He shook his head. "I'm not his friend, Susan."

"Victor."

"Unlike you, I don't find his blathering and bumbling endearing. Your soft spot for him is inexplicable."

"It's not inexplicable, Victor. You like him too."

"I don't."

"I'm a detective, and your partner," said Sue. "You can't lie to me."

"I may be," he said, "irrationally fond of the idiot. But it doesn't make us friends. It makes him a parasite."

"Of course not," Sue said, still smiling as she returned to her paperwork.


End file.
